Little Steps

What does this mean… In a small community for 18 hours, get work done , meet people, drink beer , see a sign that says eat locall… I love small communities!

Sunshine out.

still happy here.  completely wide awake.  wishing i knew how to just enjoy things sometimes.  

a sign.

i feel love and happiness and independence.  it has been awhile.  wonderful!

Camping tomorrow. Looking forward to nature.

Gosh this funeral is bringing up a large amount of resentment. And I ended up crying to my dad. Just want to be there for him, and feel it came across as self-centered. Aye ya ya.

Margie Nell George, died at 10:03am on June 21st 2011.  She was 96.  She was loved and still is…. :)

i felt happy when i first saw her.  then leaving, i was emotional and felt such a surge of love for my cousin and aunt.  the drive to the airport was normal.  but now and on the flight, my heart hurts and my eyes are full of water.  damn. damn. damn.  

i pray her passage is tonight.  

Listening to the nurse bathe nanny. The record player is belting out- just keep me hanging on”… I want her to go,but my aunt won’t let her go. Nanny’s eyes opened. She is so sweet.

She is so little and soft. She doesn’t look like the nanny I know but her sounds are familiar. Here face is very pretty, almost no wrinkles. Her hands look so beautiful and elegant. I hear her breathing through my bedroom wall. I don’t know what to say to her besides telling her I am here and she looks pretty. It is time for her to die you cam tell. What is she holding on for I wonder? I hope she is fearless and knows we are ready to say goodbye. I will miss her. This house just resonates with happy memories and love. I hope the rain clears so I can go to visit the cemetery. I know she will want flowers so I should get some .

15 minutes.

going to find my favorite passages from books i have read, and then paint a tree on them.  

Grrrrrrrrrr

i wish my friends lived in my town.  candice, if you read this. ..  i miss you.  it is always so lovely, and reminds me of the people who matter.  love you.

One photo left on my holga!

Creativity wanes! In need of glue, sparkles and downtime

I miss j.s.! Almost two years… Feels like a few months ago.

Ready for my real adult life.

Hahahaha. Head on collision with grocery cart avoided… Adrenilin is better than coffee.

Finally on a break

I just finished Marc Lesser’s book, Less.  It was great.  It was from a self help section of the book store but it reiterated many important truths of the beauty of slowing down and having less.  This less being in areas of your life such as relationships, work, home… just taking away the excess to allow harmony to ensue.  It sounds good on paper, but hard to do.  Hard to calm the mind from all the chatter.

I am sitting here now, with my short list of tasks.  I have hot coffee to my left.  I have a warm blanket on my lap.  And to my left I have my cell phone, turned off.  Ha.  

How does one get what one wants without hope and expectation?  I don’t understand.  I do understand silence and patience.  I do.  Just can’t stop the hopes.  

Dreams today:

To succeed in my sport:  run alot and far.

To snowboard ALOT this winter and get really good (for me).

To perfect my curry recipe.

To eat more mushrooms.

To do yoga on my time.

To get all A’s.

To finish my photo project.

To paint again.

To make time for all my friends.

To love more.

To love better.